I'm in a love/hate relationship with nostalgia....

Today, I planned to blog about how much I hate road trips.
But apparently that'll have to wait, because when I got home,
I got a call from one of my friends I hadn't talked to in a few weeks--
Ugh, okay, maybe a couple of months.

And while we were talking, it made me feel so nostalgic.
Because I missed when we were best friends.... ya know?
And I missed when we told each other everything,
And we were complete opposites.

I was the one that was always super-smart and all "LET'S GO STUDY!" and never had a relationship,
And she was the one that was all "YESSSS FOOD!" and did wild and crazy things and was pretty and was always dating somebody.
And I feel like nothing's changed.
That's both a good and bad thing.

It could be good because we could still reconnect and be best friends again. 
And it could be good because I hate when people change and you're like
"What happened to you?"
And they're like, "I've changed.... looks like we can't talk anymore".

But it could be bad because it means that I'll never be in a relationship.
I can honestly say that I have never had a boyfriend.
Unless you count elementary school.
And I don't.

And I can honestly say that she's always been the pretty one
And I've been super-jealous of her ever since we met in 4th grade.
And I can honestly say that she has no clue how much I envy her

I told her that today.
And she said that I have a pretty voice.

My voice?

She says that her voice sounds like a 5-year-old girl
And I'm like mine sounds like a 40-year-old man with a country accent
And she says you have no idea how much I hate my voice
And yours sounds like a Southern Belle.

And I can honestly say that I would trade voices with her
For just a fraction of all the guy friends that she has.
I have absolutely no guy friends.
And she doesn't even appreciate all the ones that she has.

And what I mean by that is that she doesn't consider herself
Lucky to have them.
And every time I think about that, I feel sad and lonely
Because the only time a guy ever talks to me is when he wants help with his homework.

And this just brings me back to what I went to in the beginning....
Nothing has changed.
And I've been wondering if I'll ever find love at all
Or even if I'll find a guy that even LIKES me.

I keep whining about all of the bad things I thought today,
But the parts that keep replaying over in my head
Are the ones that are happy.
Because friends are always there.

And so I plan to take life by the horns,
And talk more with her,
And talk more with guys,
And to not worry about the future because who can predict the future?

I just have to trust God
And keep my hopes high
And my head low
And dodge all the obstacles life throws at me.